Scene: A private boarding school in England. It's the weekend after exams, and we're under the drinking age with an excellent fake ID. There's a nearby, albeit out of bounds Store that sells alcohol cheaply in bulk.
So my friend and I, steal away at 10:30 p.m. and bike to Tesco's, where using the aforementioned fake ID and our winning smiles we manage to purchase upwards of a 100 pints of beer and cider.
We then take a taxi back to the boarding house, stuffing the cases of beer into a duffel bag. Crawling through the window, we freeze as we hear the voice of the authority figure talking in the room next to us. Fortunately we manage to wait until he leaves and finish stuffing the duffel bags in the room.
We have the keys to the kitchen. Some brave, intrepid, silly people sneak down and place the beers in the fridge. We wait until the authority figure is inside his house, we're safe we figure. The carousing begins and having gotten through a few, we figure that it's time to go grab some more.
Another friend and I are the first to make our way down to the kitchen holding a couple of warm beers in the fridge. Where as we're struggling to make out the keyhole in the door (it was very dark, not the alcohol honest), the authority figure rounds the corner and asks what we think we're doing.
"Cooking pasta?"
"It's a little late for that isn't it..."
"totally right Sir.Good night"
As we run for it, my friend's bottle clink together...
"What's that in your hands?"
I continue walking away and tell the rest of the drinkers to run for the hills. Then I get the call to go down talk to the authority figure. I was told later that the conversation between him and m friend went something like this:
"What's that in your hands?"
"Beer"
"Why do you have beer?"
"To Drink..."
My friend is noted for his tact and sublelty.
When I talked to him.
"Do you have any more beers"
"Yes"
"Go get them from your room."
"um, they're actually in the fridge..."
"So! You were illegally chilling alcohol?!"
yes... that's the problem here. the cold beer... I mean I know it's england and all but still...
So I collect three of the beers from the fridge and drop them on his desk.
The authority figure fails to collect the keys to the kitchen ( we still have them) and fails to check the fridge. There's still 70 or so beers left in the fridge. At 4:00 a.m. there were some tired people unloading the fridge.
Apparently his in-laws were there for a week which is why he was in a bad mood. We should have offered him one of the beers.
This story is not representative of my life, sadly but it's vaguely amusing. Good opening I hope.
As a coda to that.
I did this right before he put me on the same floor as the youngest year, for the nest year (I'm going into the eldest) so as to set an example for them. The man is crazy.
